I refuse to be anything less than successful

I love those motivation banners, that is what you call them, right?
Here we go, i’m not a teenager anymore. I’ll get it. :/

What is success, this is what I am asking you.

Years ago, I think that it was around the time the fashion looked like today – so yes, possibly the mid-90′s: there I was, the young Teenage me.
Back then I have pictured myself as a mid 30 woman to be settled. With a proper husband, kids, the whole deal. Yes, I really thought that this would be perfect, and I would be happy.
I knew I wanted to work within the Entertainment world, and it took me some time to realize, nope the stage is not for you!
Mostly because back in the day I underestimated how much work I would need to put into my voice as a singer. Plus I found out that I was a quite alright dancer to late. But this is all a different story I might tell you later on.

So, I was telling you about the time back when I thought that being ‘settled’ was the a normal thing when you are 30+
I have been reading a lot of blogs; there are usually 2 types of women in her 30ties.
The happy mommies.
The Single Ladies with the excellent Job – who has enough money to buy 3 pair of shoes per month and is enjoying her super single life.

I do not fit into either of them.
Now : do I have to worry?

To be fair, I pay double rent : I guess the higher you climb career wise – the lesser you pay for pretty much anything.
No, my new company never asked how I managed to move for 3 month into a new city within 10 days.
I believe nowhere in our modern world is it possible to just leave your flat so fast…so yes, I’m paying for my flat and moved back into the lovely flat-sharing situation : it is back to college time.
What part I wanted to look into was not at all my living conditions : I’m sure those will come up soon enough…but the success story.
Am I not successful? I assume I’m not interesting enough that my company would have considered a place to stay.
I’m reading a lot about different companies, and to be fair, I don’t know if I want to be self employed. I like working in a team and have a common goal with my colleagues, yet after 7 years I feel that most companies are not usually take their employees for granted. Is this something that you yourself has been through? I would love hear how the tumblr community feels about this issue.
I am also putting everything together and might consider starting my own business.
At least I am happy with what I have achieved and not feel so dumb, like a secretary.

Success : I never thought I would be not as successful as I pictures myself 20 years ago. And by that: I would not be able to have kids and give them the life my mum used to give me when I was a child.
I don’t have the position at the top, where I see myself. I might have been to pushy in the way that I only wanted to work in certain field: I have stopped caring about it.
Back in the day I would have thought these past years were a waste, but I know, I’ve learned an awesome much about people and style and how to lead.

There is a lot to go for. And I am excited to make my way. At least I am able to meet exceptionally interesting people.


the darkest nights

I’m clearly the star, otherwise, how else shall am I able to always start a new?!  Has anyone ever thought how hard it is to get into a new city with almost knowing anyone?

Let me get this straight, not easy. Even if you do start with a new job.

Most of your colleagues have never ever been outside their own city. They have a social network, friends, family, everything you do not have – straight away.

I have just started this new job.

After 3 ½ years I have left a smallish german city. I’ve almost forgot what it was like those 3 years ago, and before that in the other german city I’ve moved to the 2 years before that.

Mostly your new boss will be absolutely happy. You are always on time and work until everything is done.

Why?! You don’t really have anywhere else to go, or friends to catch up with. That is the bare reality. And: you are possibly not in any position to spend a fortune on anything – you just moved. [It doesn’t matter if you just arrived iwht a suitcase, like I did now in Vienna, or if you moved everything from your old city].

Welcome to your new home.

This can be really hard, and I promise you, Skype will be your new best friend! [Or FaceTime].

If you ask me, I hope you have a strong good hobby that you follow with a passion, that will make you find new friends easily enough. Your co-workers will never notice that you don’t have anywhere to be after work. Don’t rely on them [unless you are a singer/actor – then you find your colleagues have the same issue and you are close up with everyone around. Unfortunately you usually forget that some of the backstage crew aka the stage management is possibly in the same position. you might simply forget to ask them along.] – rant over.

If you have someone new in your office or anywhere, who just moved from another city, and you like them: you might want to invite them over, introduce them to your friends and so on.
You will get very special friend in advanced.
My so-called-little-sis, she was one of those when I last move these past years ago within Germany. I am always grateful that she took the time and asked me to join them. Otherwise I would have been lost completely.